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25 Funny Things to Put on Your To-Do List When You’ve Mentally Clocked Off
A to-do list can organise your day — or provide a detailed written record of everything you chose not to do. This one is the accurate kind.
A to-do list can organise your day, clear your mind and provide a detailed written record of everything you chose not to do.
Some lists are practical.
This one is more accurate.
25 essential tasks
- Write a to-do list.
- Reward yourself for writing the list.
- Move yesterday’s unfinished tasks onto today’s list.
- Add something you already completed.
- Tick it off immediately.
- Feel briefly unstoppable.
- Open the important email.
- Decide the email requires a clearer mind.
- Make tea.
- Forget where you put the tea.
- Check whether anybody has replied to the message you have not sent.
- Spend twenty minutes choosing background music.
- Become distracted by the background music.
- Research an unrelated question with no practical value.
- Reorganise the list into categories.
- Create a colour-coding system.
- Abandon the colour-coding system.
- Attend a meeting that should have been an email.
- Recover from the meeting.
- Move the most important task to tomorrow.
- Add “stop procrastinating” to the list.
- Ignore it.
- Tell everyone it has been a busy day.
- Prepare a fresh list for tomorrow.
- Mentally clock off.
Why do we keep making lists?
Lists make large or annoying tasks feel more manageable.
They also create the satisfying illusion that writing something down is almost the same as doing it.
The trick is to keep the list realistic.
“Sort entire life out” is difficult to complete before lunch. “Reply to one email” is less ambitious and still technically progress.
Make the list useful
Try dividing tasks into:
- must do
- should do
- could do
- absolutely not happening
- somebody else’s problem
Put genuinely urgent tasks near the top. Break large jobs into smaller steps. Avoid filling the page with vague instructions that cannot be completed.
Or ignore all of that and write “survive” in large letters.
A notepad for realistic planning
The A5 “Shit I’ll Probably Ignore” Notepad contains 50 tear-off sheets for work, home, shopping, reminders and administrative denial.
It is made in the UK and works as a gift for colleagues, friends or anybody whose existing planning system consists of opening several notes apps and trusting fate.
A5 Notepad – “Shit I'll Probably Ignore”
A5 tear-off notepad with 50 sheets, made in the UK. For to-do lists that start with “survive”.
Funny list ideas for the office
Try adding:
- look busy when somebody walks past
- reply “sounds good” without understanding the plan
- mute microphone before expressing opinion
- investigate who keeps changing the thermostat
- pretend the printer is not your responsibility
- avoid volunteering for anything
- begin counting down to lunch
- schedule time to recover from scheduled time
Do not include confidential, insulting or genuinely harmful comments about colleagues. Keep the joke about shared workplace chaos rather than targeting an individual.
Funny list ideas for home
- locate the laundry chair
- move laundry from chair to bed
- move laundry back before sleeping
- buy food despite having food
- clean one suspicious corner
- answer the message from three days ago
- remember why you entered the room
- cancel plans made by your more optimistic past self
The correct way to finish a list
Tick off what you completed.
Move anything important to a realistic time.
Delete tasks that never needed doing.
Then tear off the page and begin again tomorrow with completely unjustified confidence.
Read next: Funny Gifts for Work Colleagues Who Have Mentally Clocked Off
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